The end of 2011 was a period of great joy. My youngest brother Franklin got married on the 28th. The previous day was a Roce, a traditional ceremony followed by Manglorean Catholics, where the groom is bathed with coconut juice and oil. Followed by Sangeet, a traditional Indian song and dance event normally held on the day prior to the wedding.
On the morning of the 27th, we received some extremely sad news. My grandmother who was in Mangalore had expired. We were in a quandary. Do we postpone the wedding ? Or do we go ahead with the formal wedding and cancel the celebrations. Or do we continue as earlier planned ? It was a tough decision. More than 100 guests had flown in from around the world, Delhi, Mangalore, Sweden, Germany, France, US, … and over 200 invitees from Mumbai.
My opinion was that we should go ahead with the plan. It was to be Frank’s special day and nothing was going to be achieved by cancelling the events. I was convinced that my grandma, who ranked in my Top 5 persons ever, and who considered me (I think) here favorite grandson, would have wanted us to celebrate her life, not mourn her death. Most of my family were thinking along the same lines. And so the events took place as planned. At the events, we had a small prayer for my grandma.
The next day, on the 29th, Mabel, Don and I flew to Mangalore along with my Mom for my grandma’s funeral. On the 30th her body was brought to her home in Shankerpura, where she was placed, so that we could all pay our respects to her. She was 88 years old, but looked 60. As she lay there, she looked beautiful and calm, exactly as if she were asleep. I wanted to touch her and say goodbye, and when I did, I felt exactly as if I was saying goodbye from a trip to meet her. My grandma lived a full life, and she went the way she’d have loved to. Whilst working.
I had only 1 regret. I had not met my grandma for 7 years. And whenever any of my family met her, she would always insist that they should ask me to come to Shankerpura. When I spoke with her, that time too she would say the same thing. And I always planned to do it in a month or two. And finally when I did, it was too late.
In life, we sometimes get so caught up with ourselves and trivial things that we forget the things that matter. My New Year resolution this year is simple. Do the things I’ve always wanted to do, but did not find the time for. Who knows, if the people we love or we will be there tomorrow. Or if we will be there. I’m going to try and not postpone anything that I want to do. I sincerely think you should too.
The next day, on the 29th, Mabel, Don and I flew to Mangalore along with my Mom for my grandma’s funeral. On the 30th her body was brought to her home in Shankerpura, where she was placed, so that we could all pay our respects to her. She was 88 years old, but looked 60. As she lay there, she looked beautiful and calm, exactly as if she were asleep. I wanted to touch her and say goodbye, and when I did, I felt exactly as if I was saying goodbye from a trip to meet her. My grandma lived a full life, and she went the way she’d have loved to. Whilst working.
In life, we sometimes get so caught up with ourselves and trivial things that we forget the things that matter. My New Year resolution this year is simple. Do the things I’ve always wanted to do, but did not find the time for. Who knows, if the people we love or we will be there tomorrow. Or if we will be there. I’m going to try and not postpone anything that I want to do. I sincerely think you should too.
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