Vodafone - Happy to Yelp

Recently I got several calls from my mobile service provider. Vodafone. The callers, rude agents appointed by Vodafone to act as "The Collectors". The fact that the number they referred to was prepaid was lost on both "The Collectors" and Vodafone. On all of these occasions, they were told to send the pending bills. As in the mob, writing does not exist. They behave like extortionists who just threaten. Never received a single letter.

Interestingly the number in question was a prepaid number converted to postpaid in August 2010. And this was done at a Vodafone Customer Center. The executive made a mistake and gave an incorrect outstanding. They then called up later and said that there was an outstanding. Since it was the first time, we went to the Vodafone Center and settled the same. The executive assured us that there were no further dues. And immediately thereafter, "The Collectors" came calling.


Finally fed up, I wrote to Customer Service. My experience seems to indicate that they have made a typo in their tag line "Happy to Help". They mean "Happy to Yelp" and just so that there is no misunderstanding they have their dog growl at you.

I had to write 4 e-mails and the biggest problem seemed to be that they did not bother to even read the mails. They kept sending standard e-mails. Till I finally managed to get through. And even then, they did not have the basic decency to apologize. Their line "We have clarified your query". Wait a minute. I didn't have a query, you did. And you didn't clarify, I did. And you made a mistake. Have the decency to say "Sorry". But I guess expecting telecom companies to apologize for mistakes is a little like expecting the government to admit a mistake.

The question is "Why am I still a Vodafone customer ?" Answer, Vodafone service sucks. Unfortunately so does that of the other service providers. And I guess that until the tremendous growth they're currently experiencing stops, they can continue with their obnoxious behavior and get away with it.

Hopefully soon we will have more competition and better services in telecom. Until then the Vodafone dog shall continue barking.

Am giving below a list of mail exchanges, which illustrate the absolute ridiculousness of the issue.


Mail 1 to Vodafone - dated Dec. 31, 2010
Dear Sirs,

I'm constantly getting calls from Vodafone. As an example I got a call today from number 99300#####, name - Kavita rudely informing me that a bill of Rs. 600 is outstanding on number "98208#####".

I've informed on at least 3 occasions previously that the number in question is a prepaid number and so the question of outstanding does not arise. In any case, even if there is any such amount then a letter needs to be sent.

I've not received a single letter but these nuisance calls continue.

Can you kindly ensure that
a. I do not get these calls
b. That you rectify your system information
c. If there are any issues including those of outstanding, please communicate in writing at my address or e-mail with you.

Regards,
Stephen


Mail 2 to Vodafone dated Dec. 31, 2010
(Sent to the Nodal Officer)

Dear Rashna,

I tried sending the below mail that is self explanatory thrice to the vodafone care e-mail
"vodafonecare.mum@vodafone.com" but it bounced with the message

Delivery has failed to these recipients or distribution lists:
vodafonecare.mum@vodafone.com
This message exceeds the maximum message size allowed.
Microsoft Exchange will not try to redeliver this message for you. Please make the message smaller -- by removing attachments, for example -- and try sending it again, or provide the following diagnostic text to your system administrator.
Sent by Microsoft Exchange Server 2007

This was strange considering the fact that this was a plain text message with no attachments of any kind whatsoever. Can you kindly forward or address my issue and confirm.

Thanks,
Stephen


Mail 3 from Vodafone dated Jan. 1, 2011
(Interestingly in-spite of asking them not to call, the first thing Vodafone Care did was to call)

Dear Mr. Lobo,

Thank you for your email dated, 31/12/10 regarding the Vodafone mobile number 98208#####.

Further to our conversation, we have forwarded your request for the Statement of account for the above mentioned Vodafone mobile number and you will receive the same within 3 working days.

In case you need further assistance, please do call or email us. We’ll do our best to help you.

Happy to help,

Rupali Dhumal
Vodafone Care

 
Mail 4 to Vodafone dated Jan. 3, 2011

Dear Madam / Sir,

The conversation I had did not ask for the statement as your reply seems to suggest. All I said was "Do not call. If you have something to say or clarify, please send me a letter or mail."

I had informed you
a. I had informed both in my mail and then in your call, since you don't seem to read the mails that "Please do not call me regarding "Outstanding Payments" for a prepaid number. If at all there are any issues, please send a written letter to the address in your records.

b. I had also informed that the account has been made prepaid in August / September and that the same had been cleared at a Vodafone Center, so please update your records.

c. We had visited your Vodafone Center at Saki Vihar Road, in October as we were getting calls saying there was an outstanding amount. We were informed that the Vodafone Executive who converted the account had made a mistake and had forgotten to collect the pending amount. The same was then paid in cash and a receipt issued. There was an amount reflecting outstanding that had already been debited from our bank account. A copy of the passbook was taken by your executive who assured that your systems would be updated.

Kindly check and update your systems.

Regards,
An extremely unhappy customer who's being harassed and has to waste significant time for Vodafone's omissions. :-(((

Stephen


Mail 5 from Vodafone dated Jan. 4, 2011

Dear Mr. Lobo,

Thank you for your email dated, 03/01/11 regarding the Vodafone mobile number 98208#####.

Mr. Lobo further to our conversation on 01/01/11 we confirm the above mentioned Vodafone mobile number has an outstanding of Rs. 651.97 towards the Relationship number 1.14335098.

The last payment we have received is of Rs. 526 on 28/10/10.

We regret to inform you after the receipt of the above mentioned there is an outstanding of Rs. 651.97.

In case you need further assistance, please do call or email us. We’ll do our best to help you.

Happy to help,

Rupali Dhumal
Vodafone Care


Mail 6 to Vodafone dated Jan. 10, 2011

Dear Madam / Sirs,

I regret to inform you that in spite of the mails and telephonic conversation, you'll refuse to even check what is written. You'll continue to repeat what you're saying without once responding to the specific issues raised.

Let me try 1 last time.

The last payment received by you of Rs. 526 was 2 months after the number had been changed to pre-paid. And this was in your Vodafone Center. The reason for this was that the outstanding amount you are referring to of Rs. 651.97 includes a Rs. 100 late fee charge. However the original outstanding of Rs. 551 had been paid earlier on August 25, 2010 and the proof of this was given to the executive who handled the issue. He took a xerox, promised the system would be updated and hence concluded that the account is now closed.  That was the basis on which the amount of Rs. 526 was paid on Oct. 28, 2010.

For your ready reference the scanned copies of the details have been attached.

Once again, my sincere request is to kindly read the contents of the mail, understand what the client is saying and not send a standardized reply saying that there is an outstanding because your system says so.

Rgds,
Stephen


Mail 7 from Vodafone dated Jan. 11, 2011
This was preceded by an extremely rude and arrogant call to Ivy, at a hospital where she was in the OPD. The executive even after being informed, wanted the cheque details of the payment immediately. Ivy told them (I hope equally rudely), that they had wasted 6 months. They could wait till she was free. Their next call was to inform that the issue was resolved.


Dear Mr. Lobo,

Thank you for your email dated 10/01/11, regarding your Vodafone mobile number 98208##### .

Further to our conversation with Mrs. Lobo on 98204#####, we confirm we have clarified your query regarding the payment of Rs. 651/- made via cheque number 000113 on 25/08/10.

The same has been updated on Mrs. Lobo’s number 98208##### on 11/01/11.

In case you need further assistance, please do call or email us. We‘ll be happy to help you.

Happy to help,

Arwa Bohra
Vodafone Care


Mail 8 to Vodafone dated Jan 13, 2011

Dear Sirs,

I am distressed to note that after 5 months, a zillion harassment calls and several e-mails later, "Vodafone does not have the basic courtesy of admitting an error and apologizing for it." Instead it claims to have "clarified your query".

No Sir, you have just clarified your own multiple errors and are not even gracious about it. How come when we make an error we pay for it, in terms of delayed payment fees, connections disabled, harassment calls, ... How come the same set of rules do not apply to you all ?!
At the very least I expect that you escalate this to your seniors and have them look into the matter and issue an apology.

Regards,
Stephen

p.s.: In case any of the above is not possible, please feel free to close this case. I however reserve the right and will take it up in the appropriate forums.


Mail 9 from Vodafone dated Jan 15, 2011

Dear Mr. Lobo,

Thank you for your email dated 13/01/11, regarding your Vodafone mobile number 98208##### .

Further to our conversation with Mrs. Lobo on 98204#####, we confirm we have clarified your query regarding the payment of Rs. 651/- made via cheque number 000113.

We thank you for your feedback , and wish to inform you that we have noted the same.

We regret for the inconvenience caused to you.

In case you need further assistance, please do call or email us. We‘ll be happy to help you.

Happy to help,

Preeti Vegad
Vodafone Care

----------------------------------------------------
Its rather ironic that every mail has 2 lines in common.
"In case you need further assistance, please do call or email us. We‘ll be happy to help you."
and
"Happy to help,"

 And these are the exact 2 things that Vodafone Care does nothing about. A good start would be by reading the mails before sending "cut paste" replies.

APE - Money Making Machine

Most people are fascinated by money. And I'm no exception. And the 1 place where it seems extremely easy to make seems to be the equity markets or as is more popularly called, the stock markets. Yet ironically, most people seem to have lost money on the stock market.

 And this started a chain of thoughts. Think about it. The stock market has given the best year on year returns of more than 10% as compared to most other indices over a 5 year period, across the last 100 years. And these are significantly higher than the returns on all other kinds of investments. And this begs the question ? Overall the market is giving the best possible positive returns, yet most people are losing, then who on earth is gaining ?

And in the answer lies the secret. A few people gain, and by virtue of simple arithmetic you can figure out that they gain hugely, bordering on the obnoxious. And now that we know this, the problem becomes rather simple. Can we figure out a way to join these special few.

Like all things in life there are only 3 ways to join a select group of people. The easiest way is to be born within the group over which we have no choice or the second to get married into the group. This choice too had many years ago passed by. And so now I was left with only the third option which was to beat them at their own game.

Unfortunately this is not easy. You need to be brilliant and a genius, which I sadly was not. And so would need a lot of help. I remember reading about an experiment a long time ago, where a few analysts made predictions about stocks in the market. And a monkey too was asked to create these predictions by randomly choosing stocks from the same set of stocks. In what seemed to be ridiculous, the results of the monkey and the analysts were similar.

And that's when a germ of an idea popped in. I thought of ourselves as the monkey. So we were already similar to the analysts. What if we had a little help. And when in need of help, I turn to computers. What if, we could figure out a way, in which the computer could help us in making predictions. We knew we could not know more, but what we could do was process data faster. A few thouand times faster.

And this idea was nicknamed APE. Reason being that an APE is the bigger version of the monkey we were trying to replicate. The one with the brute force. Its also a way of saying that we were trying to replicate (ape) a well known methodology more effectively.

However saying this would not be seen as professional. And so we made up an acronym for APE - Analytical and Predictive Engine. Sounds more scientific. And in reality this is what we hope our engine will do. We've managed to sell the concept and idea to a portfolio manager. Unfortunately the condition is that we'll have to prove a success rate of greater than 60%. And so we have our work cut out. Nevertheless, we hope to have the product out in the next 3 months. And whilst we're a little scared and anxious, we're very hopeful.

Look out for an update in April - May about what hapenned to the monkey who wanted to (be an) APE.


 
An interesting article on the stock market
http://www.wanderings.net/notebook/Main/HowStockMarketWorksMonkeysAndGoats

2011 - The beginning of a new decade

This is my first blog of the New Year. Actually new decade. And hence is very very special.

First I'd like to wish my 2.7 readers which is a 100% increase in readership over the last 1 year a very happy and prosperous year ahead. But don't spend too much time here, since its likely to impact the prosperity bit. You need to work for it.

This year, like previous years I requested Freia to come up with a topical New Year greeting that I could send my family, friends, colleagues, and whichever e-mail I happened to have. And like previous years, she came up with something that I liked.

2010 - An Eventful Year

We had the unfortunate Pakistan floods,
The Haiti quake was traguc,
The new iPhone and the Android technology,
And Spain worked its football magic.

Thailand went through a political crisis,
Wikileaks caused quite a chaos,
Costa Rica had its first woman president,
and the BP oil spill led to a big loss.

Liu Xiaobo receoved the Nobel in absentia,
And Aung San Suu Kyi finally said goodbye to jail,
Chilean mines were rescued,
And European finance grew quite stale.

So 2010 was quite an eventful year,
And not everything went too well,
Now let's have a fresh start in 2011,
And how it goes, only the future can tell.

So this year, may your life be filled with joy,
And may all your dreams come true,
From all of us out here,
A very Happy New Year to you.

Special occasions are time to be traditional. And tradition has it that New Year writings be about resolutions. And so I'll give my New Year resolutions. Not for the decade, but for 2011.


Resolution for the Decade
Make resolutions I can keep. And keep resolutions that I make.


2011 Resolutions - My 10 commandments for 2011

1. Office at 8
someone needs to open the doors

2. Complete writing my first Novel
even if it has no publisher or reader

3. Get technically updated
so that I know what my colleagues are talking about

4. Continue weekly blog
and double readership to 4

5. Reduce 10 kgs
and binge for the rest of the decade

6. Exercise regularly - 5 days a week
whilst watching TV

7. Get my flying license by 2012
and get set to fly high

8. Go do some scuba diving
and meet the underworld

9. Learn to manage financial instruments
so at least I stop losing money

10. Make 365 new connections
and hope to have 5 friends

Have a great year. And a greater decade. :-)

India - Top 10 Things that made a difference this decade

Being my last blog of this decade, I thought what better way to wrap up than list the top 10 elements that in my opinion made a difference to India and Indians.

A decade is a long time and I'm sure I would have missed some extremely and probably more important elements. But isn't that what lists are about. Hits and Misses.

My list in no particular order
1. RTI - We ask. You answer.
2. Nano - World's cheapest car
3. Mobile Revolution - 700 million consumers and counting
4. World's IT provider - $30 billion industry
5. Mumbai Terror Attacks - Its a Global War
6. Indian Financial Institutes - The markets the world follows
7. Bollywood - Teaching Hollywood a few lessons
8. Sports - Taking on the World

9. Media - Everything is fair in love, war and on TV
10. Private Enterprise - We want your money


1. RTI - We ask. You answer.
Bringing Information to the Citizens

Right to Information Act 2005 mandates timely response to citizen requests for government information. It is an initiative taken by Department of Personnel and Training, Ministry of Personnel, Public Grievances and Pensions to provide a– RTI  Portal Gateway to the citizens for quick search of information on the details of first Appellate Authorities,PIOs   etc. amongst others, besides access to RTI related information / disclosures published on the web by various Public Authorities under the government of India as well as the State Governments.

http://righttoinformation.gov.in/
http://rti.india.gov.in/

The Government of India always lays emphasis on making the lives of its citizens easy, smooth and making India truly democratic and keeping this in mind the RTI Act has been established.RTI stands for Right To Information and has been given the status of a fundamental right under Article 19(1) of the Constitution. Article 19 (1) under which every citizen has freedom of speech and expression and have the right to know how the government works, what role does it play, what are its functions and so on.The Act confers right to the citizens to know as to how the taxpayers money is being spent by the Government.

Some success stories can be read at:
http://www.rtiindia.org/forum/content/section/15-success-stories-rti.html

RTI has been used, misused and even abused. But overall it has had a major positive impact and made government officials relatively more accountable.


2. Nano - The people's car
The Nano project was launched with great fanfare by the Chairman of the Tata Group, Mr. Ratan Tata who promised the people's car at Rs. 1 lakh. The cheapest car was selling at almost twice that price. It was considered an impossibility but Tata had a dream, and would do whatever it took to achieve it.
http://tatanano.inservices.tatamotors.com/tatamotors/

The Nano surprised many. Insiders as well as the observers. India had managed to shed the image of not being able to design or build anything with indigenous technology. The collection of global awards that the Nano received helped rid India of 1 more of its lack of self confidence shackles.

You can read the story behind the Nano at:
http://www.rediff.com/money/2008/may/14tata.htm


3. Mobile Revolution - 700 million consumers and counting
At the start of the decade, mobiles were just beginning to make an appearance in the metros. And was something that only the very rich could afford. Within 10 years, its become the most widely owned product ever. Its penetration at an unbelievable 60% +. And costs and schemes that make it affordable to virtually everybody.

Today mobile phones are being carried and used even by a large majority of the population that is considered "BPL or Below Poverty Line". The costs could be as little as Rs. 50 per month or roughly $1. The mobile revolution has been used in a wide variety of innovative ways to enable people. Some examples are fishermen for weather updates, daily workers for daily job requirements, courier boys to update status of their delivery and pick up process,...

Some outdated but relevant articles:
http://inside.org.au/india-mobile-revolution/
http://blogs.hbr.org/krishnamurthy/2008/05/indias-mobile-revolution-1.html
http://www.articlesbase.com/cell-phones-articles/mobile-revolution-in-india-440426.html


4. World's IT provider - $50 billion industry
India's IT industry that generated over US 50 Billion in export earnings in 2010 and employs over 2 million people is looking at doubling these numbers in the next 3 - 5 years. The difference in the IT industry as compared to others is that for the first time in India's history, India has been able to become a middle to high level service provider in an advanced industry. Traditionally we have been suppliers of low level goods and services. Whilst the growth is both good and encouraging, the 1 aspect that is worrying is the continuous increasing costs, making the commercials less interesting and the rapid advancement of countries such as China and the Philippines to supply services of a similar or better standard with more competitive pricing. With China currently having a larger number of people learning English than India's current English speaking population, will this final barrier too be broken ?

And can India increase its longevity in the industry by improving ist rather mediocre record in terms of innovations and patents in the IT industry and survive by rising higher in the value chain ?



http://emerge.nasscom.in/2010/12/2011-promising-start-but-a-cautious-outlook-for-it-bpo-industry/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_technology_in_India
http://pdfcast.org/pdf/patent-portfolio-of-major-indian-it-companies


5. Mumbai Terror Attacks - Its a Global War
India has been the victim of several terror attacks. Pre 9/11 and post 9/11. However since they mostly involved Indian citizens and crowded areas they were generally ignored by the Western media and given relatively short term coverage in the Indian media itself.

The Mumbai terror attacks put the terror issue in India on the global map, with CNN's 24 x 7 coverage. And the capture of a terrorist, Ajmal Kasab alive, gave the rest of the world no more excuses and room for denials of how Pakistan was a victim not the cause.

This was the beginning of a global recognition and appreciation of India's security and terror issues and to my mind, a primary reason for India's ambition to be apart of the UN's permanent security council being listened to. It also marked the beginning of India on the global stage with the leaders of all the Big 5 UN members visiting India in 2010.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Mumbai_attacks
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/India-Remembers-Mumbai-Terror-Attacks-Urges-Pakistan-to-Prosecute-Perpetrators--110794124.html


6. Indian Financial Institutes - The market that defied the global meltdown
This decade saw the meltdown of the global markets and a severe financial crises that saw the end of several institutes like the Lehman Brothers. And governments had to step in to save banks, from the US to Greece, Ireland, Spain to name a few of the high profile cases.

The one exception to this global phenomenon was India. And the 1 reason seems to be the guidelines and norms prescribed by India's financial guardians, the RBI and SEBI.

Until recently criticized for being over cautious and conservative, they are now being praised for being visionary. Whatever the reasons, the results have allowed us to continue our close to double digit growth and a healthy economy and financial system into the new decade.


7. Bollywood - Teaching Hollywood a few lessons
Originally Bollywood was happy with focusing on releasing its films in India. Whilst Hollywood was a global payer. Bollywood has over the last decade taken on Hollywood and emerged as a strong contender.

Bollywood currently releases more than twice the number of Hollywood films and has a revenue that is comparable. It has started making its presence felt globally including the US and Europe. And whilst the majority of its viewers are expat from the Indian sub continent, like the Indian cuisine it is slowly but surely making inroads across cultures.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Bollywood-Vs-Hollywood
http://www.kippreport.com/2009/02/bollywood-vs-hollywood/



8. Sports - Taking on the World
India has never been a sporting country. In fact, one of the main comments by observers revolves around, "1 billion people. Not 1 champion", in almost every global sporting event.

Unfortunately for various reasons, this remain the story. The light at the end of the tunnel however are the sparks of brilliance from Indian sports persons who have on their own, gone and become world champions.

4 that come to mind are Viswanathan Anand in Chess, Saina Nehwal in Badminton, Pankaj Advani in Billiards as well as Snooker and Gagan Narang in shooting.

All of these greats have managed not because of our sporting system, but in-spite of our poor sporting system that makes sports a seat of power for bureaucrats and politicians.

Hopefully this decade will see 1000's of sporting stars and a change in our system to make sports accessible and transparent.


9. Media - Everything is fair in love, war and on TV
The 4th estate as the media is popularly known as, has emerged as one of the most powerful institutes in the country. The penetration of TV into almost every household and the number of new news channels has meant that there is a 24 x 7 x 365 input into every Indian's home.


The biggest positive has been the several exposes, sting operations, posing of uncomfortable questions to the politicians and highlighting issues. And since the audience is the one that keeps all of them in power, the political parties and others have no option but to seemingly behave in a manner that will appease the audience. This has seen the fall of several ministers in Delhi and chief ministers in the state capitals.

Unfortunately there has also been misuse of the vast power. The media or at the very least some of the people in the media have colluded to benefit themselves and their benefactors. This has brought into question both the independence and the integrity of the media.

Whilst this is bound to happen in any field, the sad part is how the issue has been dealt with. The media which has been screaming about honesty and integrity and accountability from the rooftops has chosen to turn a blind eye to its own misdemeanors and has completely swept it under the carpet.

Fortunately the emergence of the Internet and the social networks had meant that we get to see and hear of their misdeeds.


10. Private Enterprise - We want your money
After decades of eying the Indian middle class, this decade has finally seen their emergence as a group that has the spending power and ability to purchase goods and services. And when there's money to be spent, private enterprise cannot be far behind. This decade has seen the boom of spending opportunities across India in the big as well as small cities, in urban India. And in rural India.

The private sector has boomed across all categories. Whether its airlines or road transport. Telecom or Television. Shopping Centers or Hospitals. If you have the money, there are several companies that want it. And this has led to competition. Competition that has meant better goods and services at extremely competitive prices. In fact the deals are so good that I wouldn't be surprised to see a deal, where you will get a TV free if you buy a remote control.

Good for the companies. And more important, good for us.

Bombay Scottish Powai - My 2nd home

Today was Freia's 12th and final concert at her school Bombay Scottish Powai. She started at this school at the tender age of 4 and now as a teenager in the 10th, is getting set to pass out after completing her 10th ICSE Board exams.

4 days before her concert, Freia came up with an idea. She felt her school and all of her teachers had been awesome and she wanted to say "Thank You". She wanted to get together with her classmates and create a composition for them and play it out during the concert.

She had several hurdles.
a. There were no lyrics.
b. There was no composition.
c. There were no singers.
d. The concert program had been finalized and all invitations printed. Practice was on for over a week and it was all approved.

Fortunately Freia decided that she had nothing to lose by trying. So she started by writing a few verses. And then spoke to her school coordinator with the idea. Luckily for Freia, she attends a school where her teachers were open minded and always willing to listen. She heard her out and said, 99% No, but if you come back with some lyrics and a tune, I'll speak to the Principal and we can try. The "we" was encouraging.

Freia sat and wrote down a couple of paragraphs. She approached her classmates who were a band. They were initially reluctant as they were performing and had not had sufficient time to practice. However, once again someone up there smiled. And the ever-ready Joshua picked up his guitar and said, "Come, lets do it".

They came up with a tune and once again approached the coordinator. She liked it and called in the Music teacher and the musically talented Ms. Daniel for their opinion. They all liked it enough to try and take the next steps. Try and get permission. 99% No, was now looking better. Something like 98%. In the meanwhile students were contacted to make up the choir. Surprisingly, everyone wanted to be part of this song.

Joshua, Nikita and Freia completed the lyrics. Joshua and his band colleagues Hariharan and Aaron gave the finishing touches to Joshua's original tune. And a song was beginning to take shape. The next day was a dress rehearsal for the concert. And the good news was that the Principal had agreed to listen to the song during the rehearsal and would then decide. Joshua and Freia worked through the night texting each other while finalizing the lyrics and the song.

D-Day -1. A tense ICSE batch go up on stage. And give a pitiful performance with many of the singers not knowing either the song or the tune. Can't blame them. No one had practiced yet and many were seeing and hearing the song for the first time. But each and every one was enthusiastic. And probably the anticipation and enthusiasm made the Principal give her nod. They had got their chance. Could they deliver ?

They practiced and practiced and practiced. And today was the performance. Here's what they said and sang.

The introduction by Freia
Its always difficult to say Goodbye. Especially to your second home, a place where most of us have spent the last 12 years of our life filled with memorable moments. And this has been made possible because of the wonderful people, we've had the privilege of calling "Our Teachers". We dedicate our Swan Song to the awesome people who dedicated their lives to make ours better. Ladies and Gentlemen, we the ICSE batch of 2011 present to you "Second Home", an original composition created by us as our small way of saying a Big Thank You.

Second Home
From caterpillars to butterflies
Its at this school that we learnt to fly
The only reason we’re here today
Is because of you teachers yeah…

Like a parent you taught me to speak
Like a mom so dear to me
Like a dad you corrected me
You were always a friend to me

We call this school our second home
And now as we leave we feel so alone
Cant thank you enough for all you’ve done
In times of trouble,in times of need you were the only one

When we’re so near to depart
Why does it have to break my heart?
Maybe its cause you mean too much
Maybe its cause you cared too much…
Its you who taught us right from wrong
And you helped us grow along
It’s time to give the world a try
And now it’s time to say goodbye…

We call this school our second home
And now as we leave we feel so alone
Cant thank you enough for all you’ve done
In times of trouble,in times of need you were the only one

Its you who taught us right from wrong
And you helped us grow along
It’s time to give the world a try
And now it’s time to say goodbye…
And now it’s time to say goodbye…
And now it’s time to say goodbye…

Being my daughter and her classmates, my opinion is probably biased. But at the end of the performance, most teachers were misty eyed and surprisingly, so were a few parents. This was a reminder that thanking the people who make a difference, makes a BIG difference. To them and to us.

Life without TV

A couple of weeks ago, when Freia, Reia and I were driving back from an engagement, we got around to the topic of Freia’s studies and how she needs to watch less TV and focus more on her studies. She was currently logging more TV hours than book hours. That’s when Reia asked me whether I could stop watching TV. And since I was preaching and had been cornered, I had no option but to bravely say, “Of course, YES.”

And that was it. Both girls made me promise that I would not watch TV and neither would they, until their exams are over, which is like a couple of months. In return, I was to buy them a gift each of their choice. I readily agreed. Till they added the twist in the tale. In case, I watched TV, then they were entitled to their gift and the “No TV” rule would not apply. Not having an option, and seeing this as a good opportunity to get Freia to study, I agreed.

2 weeks later, our house has transformed. We were a 24 x 7 TV household. The first person to get up would switch it on, and it got rest only after the last person had gone to bed. And we weren’t happy watching 1 channel, or program. We would simultaneously watch 2 and sometimes even 3 programs. Switching between breaks. During songs and unimportant times, and so on. And today there is no TV.

2 weeks and we’ve all adjusted. The radio, which was an expensive show piece came on. And we were pleasantly surprised, when we found it actually worked. Ivy who’s been motivating us to listen to music and switch of the Idiot Box with no success, is shocked. Albeit pleasantly. The first week was the toughest. I now know how addicts feel when they are being denied their poison. My hand would automatically go towards the remote, till hawk eye Reia would start staring at me. And the remote would get thrown away.

Has it helped any of us. The truth is that like most things in life, I have no idea. It certainly has made me look for other things to do at home, such as reading. Hopefully, the next step would be writing. A book. Oops, I forgot to mention. Part of the deal was that I would use the time I save by not watching TV in writing a book. My first one. So I have 3 months in which to write a book which hopefully at least Freia and Reia will read, if not the rest of the world. And if a few more did actually end up reading it, that would be a bonus. I guess the most important aspect however would be to actually write it.

The book journey starts tomorrow. That is, “If tomorrow comes”. Since I like many of us, am a great procrastinator. And although believe in Nehru’s philosophy of “Kal ka kaam, aaj karo, Aaj ka kaam ab”, am not able to practice it very well.

But miracles have been known to happen. No TV was an unexpected miracle. Maybe the coming year will bring in a lot more, such as Freia taking her boards seriously, Reia actually studying and their lazy Dad writing a book. And if all or maybe even some of that happens, we’ll all celebrate 2011 as the “Year of Miracles”.

Appearing for the 10th. Milestone or YABE ? (Yet Another Boring Exam)

Freia, my elder daughter is currently appearing for her 10th exams or as they are popularly called her ICSE Board exams. All of us, except her, think it’s a milestone and are hence treating this is an especially important milestone and hence are doing something we’ve never done in her previous 11 years of school. Asking and expecting her to study.

The whole drama of the ICSE exams started more than a year ago. On August 9, 2009. On this Sunday morning, Freia and I woke up at 5.30 and went to the Sinhal’s office in Andheri East to take a token to apply for admission to their ICSE coaching classes, which would start at 8 a.m.. Because we were led to believe, like most other parents that if we weren’t there early enough, Freia wouldn’t get admission. To coaching classes that cost a fortune.

And when we got the token, we found that we were the 150th. Finally our turn came at 11 and the first step of the milestone journey was achieved. She was given admission to classes that would begin in January, even before she had completed her 9th exams. What’s interesting to note is that my friend Salil walked in May, 9 months later for admission for his daughter Vanya. Surprise, surprise. Admission was no problem at all. Yet another self serving myth propagated by the classes busted.

Freia being Freia figured out a brilliant con for her stupid parents, us. She came up with this story of how the next few years were important and stressful and therefore she needs to get away for a couple of weeks. We fell into her well laid trap, hook, line and sinker. And she came up with this trip to meet her uncles and spend quality time with them. Except that they happened to be in San Francisco and New York. So yet another fortune spent, thanks to ICSE. The fact that the trip was not reflected in enhanced study activity was like the Sinhal’s case, a myth that was busted.

She finally went to the 10th in March and once again the hype continued. In school. In her classes. And in her parents mind. Every time she wasn’t serious and we noticed, we’d give her a lecture on how important these exams are and how she should study, … Until one day after one of these by now, weekly lectures, Freia asked me a question that I considered impertinent then. How do the ICSE exams matter. Most people get admission into a school or college even before the ICSE results are declared. So how exactly do they matter ?

And I was stumped. I had no clue. She was right. The 10th exams seemed to have lost their relevance. And were definitely not a milestone or a life and death exam, that they were touted to be. They are important, just as all exams are. Nevertheless a bit of advice for Freia. It makes sense to try and do as well as one can in these exams. And I have 3 great reasons why.

1. When your kids are doing their exams, they will ask how well you did, just as you’ll ask me. Doing well will give you a right to lecture them.
2. During interview even today, employers do look at how well you fared in key exams. The 10th is one such key exam.
3. If you manage to top your school, your name comes up on the Hall of Fame. Like Jitendra Apte, my schoolmate mentioned to me yesterday. “And when I visited Holy Name, I looked up at the Board and felt good to see my name still up there. 30 years later.”