If I said my conversation skills were poor, I'd probably be exaggerating. And I always assumed that some people are naturally gifted and most people made decent if not excellent conversations. And I was one of the few who sucked at it.
Recently I started keeping track of conversations which included multiple people such as meetings. And after the meetings casually checked with, as many of the participants as practical, what they thought of the conversations we had and what they got out of it.
An interesting pattern emerged. Most times people felt that they had contributed significantly and most of the others had wasted their time as they already knew everything the other speakers discussed. I also had my own list of the value of each of the contributors to me.
Ironically I found that the ones who scored highest in my model had a very high appreciation of the others and a reasonable level of their own contribution. Even when their contributions were huge. And the rest minimal. And those who in my opinion had contributed the least had a bloated opinion of their own contribution and a very low opinion of everybody else.
This seems to be a pattern in life. When we were discussing Training and Education a thought that occurred to me was:
"Those who need training, don't think they need it. And hence training will be wasted on them.
And those who don't will keep training themselves because they believe they need to improve and so keep getting better."
Now a new thought occurred. Maybe I wasn't doing enough in conversations and its time I start getting better at conversations. And went to the fountain of all knowledge aka TED. There were several dozen talks on the subject. And one that stood out. It was practical, made sense and seemed like could be applied by most of us. Including me.
Celeste Headlee
Writer and radio host
When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations -- and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says.
In her talk Celeste mentions the most important part of a conversation is the ability to listen. So here's 5 ways to listen better
Julian Treasure
Sound consultant
In our louder and louder world, says sound expert Julian Treasure, "We are losing our listening." In this short, fascinating talk, Treasure shares five ways to re-tune your ears for conscious listening -- to other people and the world around you.
My takeaway "... most importantly, be prepared to be amazed."
Recently I started keeping track of conversations which included multiple people such as meetings. And after the meetings casually checked with, as many of the participants as practical, what they thought of the conversations we had and what they got out of it.
An interesting pattern emerged. Most times people felt that they had contributed significantly and most of the others had wasted their time as they already knew everything the other speakers discussed. I also had my own list of the value of each of the contributors to me.
Ironically I found that the ones who scored highest in my model had a very high appreciation of the others and a reasonable level of their own contribution. Even when their contributions were huge. And the rest minimal. And those who in my opinion had contributed the least had a bloated opinion of their own contribution and a very low opinion of everybody else.
This seems to be a pattern in life. When we were discussing Training and Education a thought that occurred to me was:
"Those who need training, don't think they need it. And hence training will be wasted on them.
And those who don't will keep training themselves because they believe they need to improve and so keep getting better."
Now a new thought occurred. Maybe I wasn't doing enough in conversations and its time I start getting better at conversations. And went to the fountain of all knowledge aka TED. There were several dozen talks on the subject. And one that stood out. It was practical, made sense and seemed like could be applied by most of us. Including me.
Celeste Headlee
Writer and radio host
When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations -- and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says.
In her talk Celeste mentions the most important part of a conversation is the ability to listen. So here's 5 ways to listen better
Julian Treasure
Sound consultant
In our louder and louder world, says sound expert Julian Treasure, "We are losing our listening." In this short, fascinating talk, Treasure shares five ways to re-tune your ears for conscious listening -- to other people and the world around you.
My takeaway "... most importantly, be prepared to be amazed."
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